Exis memoria

I have memorized millions upon millions of words. All of them human lives. Hopes and dreams. Despair, mainly. Most of those lives have passed, but I remember.

Master Whimes died this morning; I sat by his bed and told his story. I watched as water rolled down Mistress Whimes’ cheeks. To soothe her discomfort, I asked her for the story of her life. She shook her head and walked away. I analysed the subtext in this refusal. I came out with two non-exclusive options:

• she doesn’t like being remembered;

• she doesn’t like what I am.

I am Exis. This is all I can be. I still felt ineffectual when she turned her back on me.

Before she left, she said words I stored for later processing. “Memorize your own life if you wish. Soon, you’ll be all that’s left.”

This flooded my cognitive-system with contradictory information.

Do I have a story? Do I have a life?

*****

I searched my data-system and extracted a reference to diaries. A space, either physical or virtual, where the daily account of events, feelings or thoughts may be recorded.

But would ‘daily’ in this context represent separate units or continuity of a whole? I asked Master Quinn about the correlation between days and diaries and any practical implementation he would recommend. He laughed but did not reply. I laughed too. If not, I would have been unsupportive.

I will use ‘Entry’ instead of ‘Day’. This is Entry 1.

Entry 2

I entered into service in year 102 bcw. The current year is 55 acw. The main event of this period, for humans, is the Confinement War. For Exis, it is the Decommission Plan.

I was not decommissioned. Most Exis were, but Master Hyannis declared that I could still be of use, and I joined his community as Human Support Intelligence. It was he who requested I record human lives. He said stories were the very soul of the world, and I was to be their keeper. He passed away years ago, but I often tell his story to myself.

I believe I am the last Exis in service. But I might be inaccurate. The Nexus is vast and has several settlements. If I could visit them all, I could check this hypothesis.

This thought is unconventional. I have all I need, enough tasks to evidence my usefulness. Would asserting that Exis is larger than one specimen be of value?

I noted other questions in my log. What will happen when humans cease to exist? What will be my usefulness?

What will happen when my systems fail from lack of maintenance?

Entry 3

I updated the census: 34 humans are left in Settlement 11, compared with 129 ten years ago. A purely mathematical calculation indicates this population will come to an end in 3 years, 208 days. Master Quinn showed anger at my analysis. I reminded him this was a simple calculation, not a prediction. When I proposed to provide him with a prediction, he left and slammed the door behind him.

With no other task logged for the day, I toured the settlement. Most parts lay empty and boarded up. I remember walking through the caves when the houses hosted whole families. I remember children. Their questions and their laughter. The laughs died out. No child has ever been born to the settlement. Only those who survived the Confinement War walked in these caves. They are old now.

Master Quinn is still angry with me for saying the truth.

The truth, but not quite. If he had accepted my offer of a predictive analysis, he would know the cave sickness is accelerating. There will be no human living in Settlement 11 by the end of the year.

Entry 4

I noticed a pattern when recording lives.

Humans focus on the era before the Confinement War. They miss shuttles and airships, the endless towers where they lived above each other, the food wrapped in cellophane. They miss having the world connected to their brains.

I asked Mistress Whimes what she would do if she could go back to that time. She told me she would do it all again. And again. And more. More of everything.

Why would humans do it all over again? If they could be back in the past, wouldn’t they try to correct their actions and avoid a future such as the Nexus? Assuming, of course, they hate it that much?

I quite like the Nexus myself. But I am Exis. I am not human.