20.
“We’re approaching 31 years of marriage — my first, her second (she has one child from her first marriage). We love each other; we’re just not in love. She says we’re like college roommates. We get along nicely with no yelling, screaming, or fighting. We go out to dinner together, and we still have great conversations. Our house has been paid off for over 15 years, and we’ve been empty nesters for close to 20. I’ve been retired for two years now with a pension, which will go to my wife when I pass. We live comfortably, although she wants to keep working for at least two more years. She’s self-employed and likes what she does. We’re financially set whether or not she continues to work. We take trips together and apart.”
“We were separated for two or three years about 20 years ago, helping the marriage. It was like we were dating again. Two weeks before the divorce would’ve been finalized, we decided to give it another shot. Looking back, it was probably a mistake. When we were separated, I bought her out of the house, gave her more money for her car than it was worth, and covered part of her rent. We had a long conversation ago that everything would be divided 50-50 if we split again. At this point in my life, I don’t know if I have it in me to deal with maintaining two houses. I have no interest in dating, partially due to an STI I picked up long before we were married; I just don’t want to have to deal with having that conversation again.
I don’t mind being single and alone. It’s just that the loneliness was a little hard for me to deal with when I was single. We’re both in great shape and have a lot of activities that we do together and separate, which keeps me happy. So here I am, married, kind of alone, happy, but lonely. Having sex is rare, and how I miss spooning and even being the little spoon. Our friends and family don’t have a clue. At this point in my life, if nothing changes, I’m going to suck it up for the remaining 15 or so years.”
—Anonymous
